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Why 1990’s ‘The Witches’ is the Scariest Children’s Horror Film Ever Made

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Roald Dahl is undoubtedly one of the most influential children’s book authors in history. Dahl, known for his quirky characters and colorful writing style, is responsible for classics like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach. However, Dahl also wrote stories that were dark and sinister – ones that ultimately reflected aspects of the real world that are not typically explored in children’s literature.  

Originally published in 1983, The Witches tells the story of a boy and his grandmother, who discover a plot by the Grand High Witch to destroy all the children in England. The book was inspired by Dahl’s childhood fascination with witches and magic and the grandmother in the book was partially inspired by his own mother. The book is still widely considered to be one of the scariest children’s books ever written, now more than 32 years after its initial publication.

The feature adaptation of the book was optioned by Lorimar Productions and the film was completed in 1989. Warner Brothers eventually bought the rights to the film after Lorimar Productions went bankrupt. It released in the United States on August 24, 1990 and received positive feedback from both critics and fans but performed poorly at the box office, generating a total of only $10,360,553. The film has since garnered cult status on VHS and DVD and has a perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes. The film also has the distinction of being the final one that world-renowned puppeteer Jim Henson, the creator of the Muppets, worked on before his death and also the final film that was completed while Roald Dahl was alive. Both men died in 1990.

The Witches, directed by Nicolas Roeg, an English-born director known primarily for adult-themed films such as The Man Who Fell to Earth and Don’t Look Now, translates Dahl’s book closely while exploring themes of child abduction and death through the eyes of “the boy”, who is given the name of Luke in the film.

The movie opens with Luke’s grandmother (Mai Zetterling) telling him all about witches: They dress in ordinary clothes, have ordinary jobs and live all over the world, led by the Grand High Witch. She details how they plot to kill children and how she herself was once a victim of a witch’s plot, displaying a stump where her pinky finger once was. She continues to describe witches as naturally bald (they wear wigs to look normal), with no toes, and having a purple tinge to their eyes. She also tells the story of her childhood friend Erika, who was abducted by a witch on her way to the market, and trapped within a painting until one day disappearing all together.

The visuals of seeing glimpses of what a witch looks like (which is fully explored later in the film) and the eeriness of seeing Erika trapped in the painting only hint at the true horror of this scenario. It is the idea of being abducted by a complete stranger that Roeg truly coveys with this opening scene. Child abductions have become common in society today and the thought of being taken and never seen again is all too real. Witches may use magic, but the real-life comparison is much worse to contemplate.

Roeg continues to explore the theme of death early on in the film, as we discover that Luke’s parents are killed in a car accident. The tragedy serves the purpose of reminding us that children are not immune to the tragic and somber aspects of life.

To cope with the death of his parents and a recent health issue with his grandmother, Luke and his grandmother take a holiday at a hotel, where all the witches in England are meeting to discuss their sinister plots – this is foreshadowed by an encounter Luke has with a witch who tries to abduct him by enticing him with chocolate and a snake… an unsettling scene to say the least.

It is the witches meeting scene that perhaps gives us the most terrifying visual aspect of the film: We see the Grand High Witch (played perfectly by Angelica Huston) and the rest of the witches in England transform into their true selves, removing their shoes to reveal stumpy toes, scratching their wigs off to reveal scaly, rash-riddled bald heads and removing their gloves to reveal claw-like fingers. The Grand High Witch herself has to go as far as to remove her entire face to reveal the most hideous and disturbing sight this side of Freddy Krueger. Luke is witness to this entire reveal behind a panel to the side of the main platform.

Throughout the meeting, we see the witches picking at their heads, cackling and showing off their yellow rotting teeth and purple eyes as the Grand High Witch scolds her minions and even goes so far as to kill one of them by burning her to death with magic beams from her eyes, simply for disagreeing with her. The witches are cruel to each other and almost salivate at the idea of seeing harm come to any of them. They hang on every word as the Grand High Witch describes how to kill children and are delighted when they discover they will soon witness a child transform into a mouse.

There is also a scene that shows the Grand High Witch trying to blatantly kill a baby with no regard and several scenes involving children and the witches themselves transforming into mice that are visually impressive, yet horrifying and painful to watch at times – although Roeg does inject some humor into these transformations.

Jim Henson and company did a spectacular job of creating a Grand High Witch that is beyond terrifying and still gives me nightmares to this day. This, coupled with Huston’s sinister performance, give a lasting impression of a movie villain that transcends time. The score composed by Stanley Myers also gives the film a creepy vibe throughout.

Nicolas Roeg directed an adaptation that incorporated many aspects of the book (most notably absent was the book’s original ending) and injected it with a visual style that continues to terrify audiences. However, it is the real-life implications of what is possible without the element of magic that is truly terrifying.

The fact that a film that garnered a PG rating could tackle adult themes this well is a testament to its legacy.

Editorials

Silly, Self-Aware ‘Amityville Christmas Vacation’ Is a Welcome Change of Pace [The Amityville IP]

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Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.” 

After a number of bloated runtimes and technically inept entries, it’s something of a relief to watch Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022). The 55-minute film doesn’t even try to hit feature length, which is a wise decision for a film with a slight, but enjoyable premise.

The amusingly self-aware comedy is written and directed by Steve Rudzinski, who also stars as protagonist Wally Griswold. The premise is simple: a newspaper article celebrating the hero cop catches the attention of B’n’B owner Samantha (Marci Leigh), who lures Wally to Amityville under the false claim that he’s won a free Christmas stay.

Naturally it turns out that the house is haunted by a vengeful ghost named Jessica D’Angelo (Aleen Isley), but instead of murdering him like the other guests, Jessica winds up falling in love with him.

Several other recent Amityville films, including Amityville Cop and Amityville in Space, have leaned into comedy, albeit to varying degrees of success. Amityville Christmas Vacation is arguably the most successful because, despite its hit/miss joke ratio, at least the film acknowledges its inherent silliness and never takes itself seriously.

In this capacity, the film is more comedy than horror (the closest comparison is probably Amityville Vibrator, which blended hard-core erotica with references to other titles in the “series”). The jokes here are enjoyably varied: Wally glibly acknowledges his racism and excessive use of force in a way that reflects the real world culture shift around criticisms of police work; the last names of the lovers, as well the title of the film, are obvious homages to the National Lampoon’s holiday film; and the narrative embodies the usual festive tropes of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies.

This self-awareness buys the film a certain amount of goodwill, which is vital considering Rudzinski’s clear budgetary limitations. Jessica’s ghost make-up is pretty basic, the action is practically non-existent, and the whole film essentially takes place in a single location. These elements are forgivable, though audiences whose funny bone isn’t tickled will find the basic narrative, low stakes, and amateur acting too glaring to overlook. It must be acknowledged that in spite of its brief runtime, there’s still an undeniable feeling of padding in certain dialogue exchanges and sequences.

Despite this, there’s plenty to like about Amityville Christmas Vacation.

Rudzinski is the clear stand-out here. Wally is a goof: he’s incredibly slow on the uptake and obsessed with his cat Whiskers. The early portions of the film lean on Wally’s inherent likeability and Rudzinski shares an easy charm with co-star Isley, although her performance is a bit more one-note (Jessica is mostly confused by the idiot who has wandered into her midst).

Falling somewhere in the middle are Ben Dietels as Rick (Ben Dietels), Wally’s pathetic co-worker who has invented a family to spend the holidays with, and Zelda (Autumn Ivy), the supernatural case worker that Jessica Zooms with for advice on how to negotiate her newfound situation.

The other actors are less successful, particularly Garrett Hunter as ghost hunter Creighton Spool (Scott Lewis), as well as Samantha, the home owner. Leigh, in particular, barely makes an impression and there’s absolutely no bite in her jealous threats in the last act.

Like most comedies, audience mileage will vary depending on their tolerance for low-brow jokes. If the idea of Wally chastising and giving himself a pep talk out loud in front of Jessica isn’t funny, Amityville Christmas Vacation likely isn’t for you. As it stands, the film’s success rate is approximately 50/50: for every amusing joke, there’s another one that misses the mark.

Despite this – or perhaps because of the film’s proximity to the recent glut of terrible entries – Amityville Christmas Vacation is a welcome breath of fresh air. It’s not a great film, but it is often amusing and silly. There’s something to be said for keeping things simple and executing them reasonably well.

That’s a lesson that other indie Amityville filmmakers could stand to learn.

2.5 out of 5 skulls

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Recurring Gag: The film mines plenty of jokes from characters saying the quiet part (out) loud, including Samantha’s delivery of “They’re always the people I hate” when Wally asks how he won a contest he didn’t enter.
  • Holiday Horror: There’s a brief reference that Jessica died in an “icicle accident,” which plays like a perfect blend between a horror film and a Hallmark film.
  • Best Line: After Jessica jokes about Wally’s love of all things cats to Zelda, calling him the “cat’s meow,” the case worker’s deadpan delivery of “Yeah, that sounds like an inside joke” is delightful.
  • Christmas Wish: In case you were wondering, yes, Santa Claus (Joshua Antoon) does show up for the film’s final joke, though it’s arguably not great.
  • Chainsaw Award: This film won Fangoria’s ‘Best Amityville’ Chainsaw award in 2023, which makes sense given how unique it is compared to many other titles released in 2022. This also means that the film is probably the best entry we’ll discuss for some time, so…yay?
  • ICYMI: This editorial series was recently included in a profile in the The New York Times, another sign that the Amityville “franchise” will never truly die.

Next time: we’re hitting the holidays in the wrong order with a look at November 2022’s Amityville Thanksgiving, which hails from the same creative team as Amityville Karen <gulp>

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