How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.