We have all been in lockdown for more than ten weeks now and our old grooming, eating and socialising habits seem like a dim and distant memory. As the weeks have worn on, we have learned to put comfort before looking cool, food and drink before feelings and the natural look before the neatly groomed. We started this lockdown in abject horror, thinking this would be hell, yet as the weeks wore on we got into our groove, thinking of the fact we would come out of this eventually as something to “worry about later, in the far flung future”. And now here we are, that future has turned up possibly far too quickly for our brains to catch on, let alone our bodies. And shock, horror… we have to go out into the real world again, looking and feeling like neanderthals. It all seems too quick. How the hell did that happen? But do not fret. As your resident life coach I am here to tell you not to panic: it isn’t as bad as you think.
First and foremost, I want you to know you are not sailing this ship alone. We have all been in the same boat and so when you do open your door and step back into the real world, you will find that no one has had a decent haircut, manicure or pedicure and, yes, most people have eaten and drunk far too much. Remember, we were all in this together going in, and we are certainly all in this together coming out.
So it is super important to get your head right. How you think is terribly important when it comes to self-confidence. Why? Because how you think creates how you feel. Confidence is a feeling, so if you are thinking thoughts that create feelings of low self-confidence, you have to start changing how you think. Negative thoughts create negative feelings, actions and results, so in order to feel confident you have to think thoughts that create those feelings you do want, thoughts that feel good, confident and empowering. If you think right, your confidence will soar.
If you are worried about weight gain from your excess please, remain calm. Stressing out about this is not helping and it is proven that the more you berate yourself for eating and drinking a lot, the more you will do it. It is a vicious cycle, so if you are constantly judging yourself and being mean to yourself it is going to make everything worse. Quit the judgement and be kind. You have just been through a pandemic; it was OK to comfort yourself through whichever means you found helpful and now you can release that need and start taking care of yourself again.
Remember too that being healthy is more important than your size. It is not true that one size is more attractive than another and if this pandemic has taught us anything it is that our health is wealth. You have had your time of overdoing it and now is the time to get back on track. I also want you to know something very important: no one is perfect. Remember that looking at six-packs on Instagram all day just contributes to the negative thinking and the brain washing. It’s important to remember that a lot of pictures are photoshopped and doctored. Most “real” people look real, that includes scars, stretch marks and spots!
And lastly… stop caring about what other people think of you. What other people think of you is ultimately something you have no control over. Being self obsessed and worrying about the opinion of others isn’t the sexiest trait and definitely doesn’t help your confidence. Ultimately, most people are not as interested in you and your actions, thoughts or appearance as you think they are, so it’s a good idea to let go of stressing yourself out and just go ahead and do you thing. Truthfully, most people who you talk to are more worried about what they look like than what you look like. Remember: those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
And never forget that actually, the most important person's opinion of you, is only ever, you.
Jacqueline Hurst is a therapist and the creator of online life-coaching site The Life Class.
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