THE REEL DEAL: Not digging 'Lovely Bones'

In “The Lovely Bones,” slain 14-year-old Susie Salmon isn’t in heaven or hell. Rather, she’s in “the in-between,” that bright blue horizon line where the setting sun touches the earth.

Like Susie (played by newcomer Saoirse Ronan in the film directed by Peter Jackson), for a little more than two hours, I felt very much in limbo.

Not heaven, nor hell, “The Lovely Bones” just settles somewhere in the middle.

Narrated mostly with the whispers of this ghostly girl (much like an overly long episode of ABC’s “The Forgotten,” starring Christian Slater), the film sort of meanders along at the same level and volume – never hitting any real emotional peaks or valleys.

Jackson’s vision of “the in-between” is beautiful – inspired by vibrant works of art and tinged with the gaudy, flamboyant style of the 1970s, in which the film is set.

The usually-clever, boy-crazy Susie winds up there after making the fatal mistake of trusting the creepy guy who lives down the street (played by Stanley Tucci) and following him down into a trapdoor he built in a cornfield.

Beyond the pain felt by her parents (played by Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz), the true tragedy is what was stolen from Susie – the life unlived, the things she’ll never do … like kiss a boy.

And so Susie’s spirit sulks – when she’s not romping through meadows or sledding down snowbanks with her ghostly guide, who calls herself “Holly Golightly” (after Audrey Hepburn’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” character).

She spies on the boy she dreamed of kissing, and her distraught mom, dad and siblings – and like her dad and later her little sister, she becomes increasingly vengeful, craving cruel justice for the man who killed her.

Meanwhile, the killer’s own cruel cravings start to creep back to the surface.

The film’s one bright spot (beyond the ethereal scenery) is Susan Sarandon as the chain-smoking, alcoholic grandma who takes charge of the Salmon household while the dad plays detective and the mom unravels in her grief.

Sarandon’s domestically-challenged, eternally-“thirty-something” enforcer brings a rare, desperately-needed chuckle to the middle of this maudlin, morose movie.

Tucci is powerful as the twisted, reclusive killer whose hobby is meticulously hand-crafting dollhouses – which isn’t pleasant, but instead sufficiently makes your stomach turn every time he’s on screen.

Wahlberg, Weisz and the young Ronan, meanwhile, are mostly flat – like the horizon on which the “Lovely Bones” settle.

Bottom line: Unless you’re feeling particularly melancholy, let “Lovely Bones” lie.

Watch the trailer for "The Lovely Bones" below.