17 Drunk Texts You Wish You Got

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80.5K votes

13.4K voters

Is there anything more delightful than waking up on a Saturday morning, looking at your phone, and thinking "wow, look at all these drunk texts I sent last night!" Though there are likely a few regrettable texts sent to your ex, mixed in with the horror are likely all kinds of funny drunk texts for which your friends will forever thank you (and never let you live down). The best of these have been archived forever throughout the Internet, as these screenshots of drunk texts from last night show.

The best drunk texts and funny drunk text messages are full of autocorrects, typos, interesting emoji choices, and all around hilarity ranging from kittens to dance moves, to Flo Rida. There is also no shortage of people who tie one on and spill their guts. Some profess their undying love, while others just need to know there’s someone out there who cares, and will hopefully pick them up as they aren't really sure how to get home right now.

Still others’ texts are so indecipherable, we have no idea what they’re saying. Whatever the reason, these people had the liquid courage to communicate in that moment and their drunk texts are a fun read.

Upvote the funniest and most ridiculous drunk texts below and remember that drunk texting is a dangerous (but usually hilarious) game.

1
3,065 VOTES
Dragons LOVE Goose Water
Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
3,065 votes
2
2,596 VOTES
Okay, but What if He Really Was the Batman?
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
2,596 votes
3
2,584 VOTES
Ready to Party, but Nowhere to Go
Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
2,584 votes
4
2,150 VOTES
Can't See the Forest for the Alcohol
Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
2,150 votes
5
2,266 VOTES
When Fanboys Drink
Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
2,266 votes
6
2,502 VOTES
Mom Always Makes Confessions After Some Chardinay
Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
2,502 votes
7
2,093 VOTES
Kitten Is a Great Code Name for Beer Actually
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
2,093 votes
8
3,197 VOTES
Jason Bourne Stars in The Drunk Identity
Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
Check out what happens to these drunk people when they pass out. Insanity ensues!
3,197 votes
9
1,670 VOTES
Here's Hoping We All Find the Sweetest Candything in Our Lives
Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
1,670 votes
10
1,479 VOTES
It's Like Drinking in a Bad '80s Movie
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
1,479 votes

11
1,558 VOTES
Is "Too Funk" Really a Problem?
Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
1,558 votes
12
1,481 VOTES
The Morning After Makes You Do Strange Things
Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
1,481 votes
13
1,486 VOTES
Birds of a Feather Drunk Text Together
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
1,486 votes
14
1,675 VOTES
Now That's Commitment!
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
1,675 votes
15
1,606 VOTES
A God Among Drunks
Photo: flickr / CC0
1,606 votes
16
1,142 VOTES
When Your Legs Feel Good, YOU Feel Good
Photo: Metaweb / GNU Free Documentation License
1,142 votes
17
1,155 VOTES
Truth or Drunk?
Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
1,155 votes