How to make sure your milk is NEVER stolen from the work fridge again… and it’ll only take you seconds
These four tips are all based on actual science and, if you're cheeky enough, you may be able to stop contributing to milk rounds at all...
ARE you sick of colleagues stealing your milk from the office fridge?
Here four fool-proof ways to make sure no one nicks from you again, which will only take you seconds and are backed up by actual science.
The tips are based on the psychological warfare of 'game theory', which you may remember from Russel Crowe's film A Beautiful Mind.
Australian news site ABC spoke to Professor Robert Hoffmann, who teaches economics at RMIT University, in Melbourne.
Here's his advice using the science of strategy, but your colleagues might not like it...
1. Pretend you're the boss
This one takes a bit of courage. Instead of writing your own name or "keep off" on your bottle of milk, try writing your boss' name.
This is an example of what's called a 'chicken game', where there a too many players seeking their own advantage to take a risk.
Your colleagues may suspect that's not really the managing director's milk, but are they brave enough to call your bluff?
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The catch? Someone else might catch on and start doing the same, risking exposing you and getting you into trouble at work.
Professor Hoffman said: "Only one of us gets away with the boss's name trick. If we both try it on, disaster ensues."
2. Steal someone else's milk
'If you can't beat them, join them' is the mantra here - and this can be true of stealing milk at work.
You may decide to just help yourself to someone else's milk, creating a situation called the 'prisoner's dilemma' - where the sole remaining buyer doesn't want to leave the office milk-less.
The catch? If they stop bringing in milk, you both automatically lose. So this one does more harm than good in the long run.
3. Work with everyone
Why not draw up a rota and get everyone to take turns to buy a shared carton of milk?
This is another example of the 'prisoner's dilemma'.
The catch? What if people don't cooperate, and you end up picking up the slack?
The only way this theory really works is by lowering your expectations, according to Professor Hoffman.
He said: "By observing what other people are doing, by learning and, sometimes, punishing each other we can establish co-operation on the milk issue."
4. Pretend to work with everyone
You could also use a strategy called 'brainmanship', where you set up the milk rota and then convince others you're just really bad at bringing in milk - and can't be trusted.
Professor Hoffman said: "Each time it is your turn, you do a really bad job of it."
Maybe bring in the wrong type of milk, or buy a single pint to go round the whole office.
They will soon decide you're doing more harm than good, and eliminate you from the milk round.
But they're unlikely to be cruel enough to say you can't have any in your tea. Could this be the perfect ruse?
