How to Look Sad

Co-authored by Murisa Harba

Last Updated: November 19, 2023 References

When you need to look sad in person or during a performance, you have to rely on immediate signs to get the intended emotion across as quickly as possible. In these cases you have only a single impression or a few moments to convince someone you are unhappy or depressed, and you will have no time to play the long game convincing others you are sad. When playing the short game, it is important to realize that sadness is not only an emotion we experience in the mind; it is a state of the body itself, one of the six base affects.^{[1]
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Research source} You will need to get your entire body in the right place to give off the signals of sadness.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Looking Sad in Person

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1
Think sad thoughts in order to generate genuine feelings of sadness. The best way to look sad in person is to actually be sad. Sometimes you can accomplish this by focusing your mind on sad thoughts or memories. You could also listen to some sad music while doing this to put you in the right headspace. Try focusing on one or more the following:
- The loss of a loved one and never having the chance to say goodbye.
- Your own death and the limited time you have of life.
- A tragic mistake from childhood that can’t be resolved or made up for.
- Be warned that acting sad is a very good way to actually make yourself sad.^{[2]
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  Research source} Be careful pretending for too long.
2
Take on a sad facial expression. Humans are social animals who accomplish a large part of their communication through facial cues and nonverbal means. Getting the major facial expressions down is a solid place to start when performing sadness. Try the following:
- Frown and pout your lips. Both expressions are common displays of sadness.
- Lower your gaze and turn your face away from the person you are talking with as though hiding or embarrassed.
- Furrow your brow to show nervousness, consternation, frustration, or displeasure.
- Look resigned or exasperated by raising your eyebrows and if in prolonged surprise. This communicates something like “I still can’t believe things are this bad.”
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3
Convey sadness with your body language. Recent research suggests that looking sad has more to do with overall body posture than facial expressions. Further research suggests that when reading emotions in other people, viewers will focus their attention on a person’s chest to read nonverbal cues. When you want to take your sadness act to the next level, incorporate full-body signs of depression and try the following:^{[3]
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- Slump your shoulders and upper body downward to show the exhaustion and insecurity that come from sadness.
- Turn your body away from the person you are talking to as though protecting yourself from further hurt.
- Clutch your body or fold your arms in front of you to symbolize closing yourself off from the other person’s attempt to cheer you.
- Touch your face to display a key gesture of sadness and self-comfort.
4
Show signs that you’ve been crying. We all know that crying is a key sign of sadness and depression, and getting your face to look like you’ve spent the last few hours crying can go a long way convincing the person in front of you that you’re sad.
- Rub your eyes hard to work up small tears and leave visible redness.
- Why fake the tears when you can have them for real? There are a few good ways to actually cry on command that can amp up your sad game.
Sighing is a universal sign of sadness, and a well-timed sigh can trigger the other person to recognize and even respond to your sadness subconsciously.^{[4]
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6
Act as though you have been losing sleep lately. One of the most significant signs of sadness and depression is sleep deprivation.^{[5]
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Go to source} Beyond that, a lack of sleep is also one of the most easily recognized features of someone’s face. These facts make sleep deprivation a solid element to include in your act. Try the following:
- Yawn silently. You are likely to yawn more loudly when waking up in the morning, but yawn more quietly when communicating a need for sleep.
- Close your eyes and sigh as though just this one moment of rest is helpful.
7
Give signals of being troubled, distracted, or even a little absent-minded. Sad people will pull away from the world and take less interest in what is happening around them. You will look more sad in a face-to-face meeting if you come across distant and lost in your own mind.
- Give the impression that you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed. For example, pretend you did not watch the latest sporting event and don’t care how it turned out.
- Start to say something but then stop yourself as though communicating just isn’t important anymore.
- Toy with things absent-mindedly, such as the edge of your sleeve, twigs or leaves, chipping paint, etc.
8
Appear socially detached by refusing to commit to future plans and avoiding upbeat social activities. If you want to come across genuinely sad, you should give the impression that you want to stay sad. This means pulling away from other people and resisting their attempts to cheer you up.
- Mention casually that you haven’t spoken to friends in a while and have been spending time alone.
- Respond to invitations by saying “maybe” in a way that invites the person to infer you mean “no.”
- Stop listening while the other person talks. Do this in order to show disinterest or interrupt them as though you weren’t really listening.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Looking Sad for a Play or Performance

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1
Add signs of sadness to your costume. You might need to get the director’s or costume designer’s permission, but ask if you can add a few extras to your costume to help communicate the character’s frame of mind. For instance:
- Give your character red eyes and a red, sore nose to show evidence of crying.
- Could you add a dirty sleeve covered in tears and snot?
- Unkempt hair and a messy overall appearance show detachment and lack of interest.
- Dark circles around your eyes indicate a lack of sleep, which is a common sign of sadness.
2
Include props on stage that signal sadness. When someone is sad, they can leave tell-tale signs in the environment. If the director and set designer give you permission, try adding a few elements to the stage that show the audience the effects of your character’s sadness. For example:
- Scatter tissues everywhere and include an empty tissue box or two.
- Include discarded or half-finished projects.
- Show evidence of the anger that often accompanies sadness by featuring destroyed toys, art, furnishings, or clothing.
3
Show signs your character has been losing sleep. Sleep deprivation is strongly linked to sadness and depression. This makes including signs of exhaustion and sleeplessness a useful strategy for portraying a sad character. Bring the following into your performance:^{[6]
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- Yawning and a slumped posture.
- Slow, slothful movements.
- Leaning against furniture or nodding off a little when you aren’t speaking.
4
Give an impression of detachment and resignation. A deep sadness will often cause someone to draw away from social contact and emotional connection with others, and you can bring signs of aversion and distance to your performance without changing the script or stage at all. For example:^{[7]
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- Lower your gaze and avoid looking directly at the other characters on stage.
- Stare off stage as though unconnected to your surroundings.
- Maybe make eye contact with someone in the audience. Your character will appear detached from those on stage, but the connection with another person allows you to use smaller gestures such as facial expressions.
- Toy with objects on stage as though you are lost in thought or moving absentmindedly.
- Don’t respond to the emotions of the other characters to indicate your detachment.
- Don’t react to sudden movements or loud sounds to show your brooding, disinterested state.
5
Use melodramatic gestures and overt signals when the performance allows it. Sometimes subtlety is not the name of the game, and you can use profuse dramatic movements and gestures to get your point across during a play. Take advantage of those moments to clue the audience in to your character’s sadness. For instance:
- Fall into heap of tears, covering or shrouding your face as you sob.
- Cross your forearm across forehead and look away in the classic theatrical pose of woe and sadness.
- Speak through sobs or loud moans.
- Hug and clutch at the other actors, pulling and cloying at them to show your character’s tragic abandon.
- Maybe you can really shed tears on the stage.
- Remember, there are a hundred ways to get yourself to fake cry, but in the end it only matters if the audience cries.^{[8]
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- Keep the melodrama within the bounds of the performance. In other words, don’t go overboard.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Looking Sad with Makeup

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Messy, running mascara is a classic sign that someone has been crying, and you can use that to your advantage with some smokey eye makeup.^{[9]
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2
Keep your cheeks pale and your nose red. Having color in your cheeks is a sign of passion or fire. When you want to look sad, it is better to keep the cheeks wan and pale. However, you can add a redness to your nose to suggest soreness from using tissues.^{[10]
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- It might be easier to make your nose red by rubbing it than by using makeup.
To communicate a lasting sadness or depression, keep the lips as colorless as possible as well as the cheeks. Brushing a subtle nude lipstick over the lips can help your entire face seem less vibrant and alert.

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Question

What if I'm using this to see if my friends really care and they don't, they just make jokes?

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Either they know you're not really sad and that's why they're making jokes, or they're not very good friends.

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I'm actually sad and it's really concerning me. I've been losing lots of sleep for the past few weeks and have been crying a lot. What do I do? I don't want friends to worry.

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Try talking to someone about it and try to smile. Maybe workout, because when you workout your body releases endorphins, which make you happier. Maybe you can spend more time with family and friends as well.

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How can I make people believe that I am happy?

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Make jokes, smile a lot, be confident and optimistic about everything.

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Warnings

Don’t overdo the melodrama. Most sad people are not looking to advertise how sad they are so keep your game subtle when possible.

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Looking sleep deprived makes you less attractive.

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Be careful; emotions are contagious.^{[11]
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Research source} When you act sad around someone you risk truly affecting them and making them sad too. It’s rarely good to toy with the feelings of others.

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Your own body is susceptible to suggestion, too, and you risk a real change of mood if you perform sadness for extended periods of time.^{[12]
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Research source} In other words, sometimes you can “fake it ’til you make it” and end up truly becoming sad yourself.

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Tips

If someone looks you directly in the eye, try to look away.

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If someone talks to you and you don't want to; just say you have somewhere to go.

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